LAY ME DOWN...

" i'm lonely.."

Heart thinks

Hatred bounds ...... to Love.

night and day-day and night...

as cold as night, as hot as the day.

i strike that same pencil down the paper

with liquidated lead gushing down the table

then I realized everything is being pen down.

my life. my heart. and my soul

new life.

everything is slowly turning new once again which is time that I resolute my thoughts and set it firm to my wills. I have to stand by myself to nothing allow me to fall or pick myself up after every fall. There's always this interval of the route that make you start to learn how your next move will make to its fullest . It will only happen until when you decide to live out of the comfort zone and other's guidance and pull your trust together.

every piece and parcel of life you are forming along your way just get you to the destination you wish upon. along the way, charge with wisdom and do what you think it should be done. there will never be twin opportunities except for exceptions but don't let it be an excuse to yourself that there will always be a second chance.

it doesn't matter what other thinks. eventually what the whole world may see things downside , no one will be right or wrong. however, in time you will make the world believe that nothing is impossible. i always believe there are hopes and its only if you want to recognise and realise them. stand by your wills closely and not let anyone change it.

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world- Oscar Wlide

2nd Week

10 March is the first day of the second week at KPMG. I don’t have any idea what’s more to talk about what I have done the past week. I only knew what only on the day four I was finally assigned to a task to a client’s place and that eaglexxxxx( i signed a piracy clause), a manufacturing firm. You must be thinking after all I got something to do for the week. However, here goes the first day and second week, no task , just sitting down at SOME OTHER SENIOR’S desk who was out to the client doing ebuddy chatting and web surfing. How constructive isn’t it? Well, I get paid doing nothing; at the same time I suffer for not having enough content of my task and job done for my periodic report for evaluation which is a really negative trade off.

However, on Thursday last week, I met my very first senior whom I worked with for eaglexxxxxx. She made my day first with the warmest welcome; I’m not being sarcastic nor bitchy here. I was expecting her to be really horrible and evil at first. Nonetheless, she is so caring and nice. She cared that if I have learn anything about auditing with her and if I have done things in a correct manner time to time so that I wouldn’t get screwed up and got blamed. I haven’t seen such patient person for ages and so willing to give it in to teach me all the appropriate auditing stuffs. I’m so glad I had as my senior for the day. Addition to that, she actually changed my whole opinion of KPMG being horrible and using evil staffs and seniors which after all they are actually nice to talk and joke with sometimes when its off work ( prolly lunch time and traveling time.) I have to admit, I really like working with her. Therefore, I had so long of a personal talk with a stranger for my first time; I told her so much stuff about myself.

So, my task at eaglexxxxxx was the usual basic extremely boring task such as vouching and perusing ( for people who don’t know about audit, perusing is to compare figures of 2 different but relating documents and take note for unusual big and material- extensive large amounts transaction and later enquire the accountant about such a transaction. It will only pass if I’m satisfied with whatever reason they provide for it or there has been a approved with initial on supporting documents as evidence. ) thus, I have to sample out myself for transaction which is material such as amounts more than a thousand dollars. Its not fun doing such task but I wouldn’t mind which at least it’s better than doing nothing. Doing nothing is just plain bitch. I just can’t be doing nothing.

I really hope plus cross finger that I get something to do by tomorrow if not I’m really going to murder myself in the office with the paper shredder and shred myself into millions pieces; pretty gross I know.

I’d tell you that I’m freaking jealous of my other intern mates whom got so many things to do. They keep traveling out to the client and at least have something to do not like me got locked in the office without a single thing beside like random filing and delivering of documents which is plain dumb. I guess different people different fate. Oh my… I’m so miserable now.

3.28 pm-

Right now, I’m sitting with this personnel from PWC ( Price Water House Coopers ) to watch her do some admin stuffs while I do my very “constructive work”, blogging online. I have to say I hate the environment here, so quiet and intense. I don’t know why I agreed to doing such shit job, sitting and watching her copy stuff. I just can’t believe why they even give such jobs to interns. Apart from the other task, its just plain manual labour you know, delivering documents and perform watching over people copying stuff. I’m trying to extend my post as long as possible until she finishes her work. If not I will be weird doing nothing.

1st week

From my view, all I could see it’s just blue walls of my desk’s cell. I have been starring it for hours and hours and nothing constructive being assigned to me. I’m freaking horrified if this had last through my internship, no work and no task, I would have been bored to death and no one would be aware of my presence since all are so busy with their own work.

Adjacent to my cell it’s the higher rank partner of the company, I suppose ( I seriously, don’t even know a quarter of their names ) , its sounding really scary. She has a very pissy voice and face and sounds incredibly fierce. I overheard a few of her conversations with other auditors and i’m ticked off by her tone and expressions. It’s utterly rude to talk to a person they way she did in her whatever devilish tone and expressions. I’m sitting here and I felt the vibe, it’s a evil and rude one; just couldn’t tolerate every single minute and second of her voice and face. Did I even mention that she looks like a she-male too? Every part of her is utterly disgusting. I just wish to be deaf all the time in the office. She seriously needs to learn how to take a chill pill and change her total attitude towards stuffs. I just don’t get why she just can’t talk properly to others. I pity this china woman- a senior stuff who has to attend to her most of the time and every time she steps into the partner’s room, its either scolding or pissy looks. Awww… disgusting.

Good lord, its already day 2 of my intern and I haven’t got engaged on a proper task. I can’t believe that all I did for today was logging on to ebuddy illegally against the company’s policy and rules and chat with random people online and maybe those 5 mins walk down to SGX Centre to deliver some retarded documents to some lady. Can you believe that I only did these for the whole of today (different note, behind my cell is still the scoldings and ramblings) and that really sucks. So, here I’m blogging to kill time off and at the same time counting down to 5 30 – my officially time off from work. And, now its 5 30, good lord, I;m finally off.

I will bitch about more stuff tomorrow and am very sure I will. Let’s just see.