Lonesome

I hate being lonesome. you have no idea that feeling of not even a heart close companion to throw your bitches at. you have no idea how annoying when some things I want for never appears but some things I don't wish for overwhelmingly bash at me. everything comes and goes.

i really hate being lonesome and i definitely know am big enough to live by myself but its also good to have someone to depend on besides my family.

i love listening to depressive songs. they speak every piece of my life bringing their pieces close to my heart. i will never know what others would think of me and i don't really care.

its really all hard to not stay lonesome.

have i mentioned ? what i bring about to everyone and everywhere comes back to me.

i really really hate being lonesome. i really want tears. the bitter rather than salty tears.

I REALLY REALLY CAN'T TOLERATE LONESOME.

hey guys

People I know have been really caring towards me. I am really grateful of of everything and everyone around me.

Work has put me together and so much more to learn. so many to watch. so many to process and digest.  its really exciting. despite that it really hasn't been very smooth, its the willingness to learn and money that keeps me going. that's really work life, you work for money unless you are doing something that money its not a consideration then its something more worthwhile. Working as a auditor is really dead. really dead. repetitive dead.

LEARNT. Interpersonal skills are really important. you know that its no longer the i'm in school and I can be nobody and no one will care. you gotta fight for everything and impress. make that perfect presence in front of everyone. put on that facade.

I would say the toughest part is to study each and everyone and their psychology variances that differ from people to people. This is what keeps work really exciting. Technical skills can be picked up easily and be learnt from books but interpersonal skills are really challenging and an independent variable.

work is still tolerable and I'm learning so much. I'm happy with everything.well, at least there is a consistency in my life. weekdays work, weekends play. on and off.

life's short, embrace.

Now that April's Fool is over, what's next?

I think for yet another time in my life, I have made a wrong move. A move that only i wish that i wouldn't have taken. A move that i regretted the most and to my worst disappointment. A move which was what i foresee that there might be hopes yet turn out to be a despair.

It has all gotten the shit out of me. Putting off all these unbearable subjects in my life just gets me break down all the time, inside out. I only wish for a better balance in my life. One that i have good and bad time where I have nothing to feel regretful about.

love is just what it takes to be a killer, so does hatred?

---------

i'm working like a bull and now falling sick like a weak bird.

looking forward to the coming Thursday.

Happy Belated April Fool and to those who didn't get it from me you are just plain lucky!